Sitting by the window, coffee in hand, I watch as the wind blows strong through the trees. I think how good the cool breeze would feel against my face.
I can remain sitting in the comfort of my chair, cozy inside and think about how the wind feels, or I can actually go sit outside on the porch.
I grab my Bible and notebook, leave my cell phone behind, and head to the screen porch-intentional on His presence.
I sit in the biggest, most comfortable chair the porch has to offer and close my eyes. Inhale-fresh, crisp, autumn. Listen-rustling, leaves tossing wildly as the wind whips. But, I can’t feel the wind.
I hear Him whisper, “Step outside; you can feel it”. My immediate reaction, “But, I’ll have to get out of the chair. And it’s comfortable. I’ll have to walk on the damp boards of the deck. And my feet will get wet. There’s no chair. I’ll have to stand.”
Inside, my heart hears Him, “Then you won’t be in the midst of the fullness of it. You will only observe from a close distance.”
Two years ago in the midst of treatments for breast cancer, I would have jumped from my seat inside the house and immediately planted myself on the deck-wet feet, standing without a chair. I wouldn’t have given it a second thought.
Now? Now, I am being complacent. Saying with my words that I want to live in the fullness of what God has to offer, but not willing to be fully present in each moment.
I have become an observer, again.
How many times do we say with our words we want the fullness of God and all He has to offer? We talk of wanting His presence, yet we are unwilling to make ourselves uncomfortable.
We find ourselves drawn to Him, but only at a close distance. We plant ourselves in a comfortable place where we can sense how He is moving; see it around us, but never find ourselves in the midst of His presence, experiencing Him for ourselves.
Heavy hearted with how I have let time, the object of my pleadings two years ago, erase the intentional focus of living in now, I step onto the damp boards.
Standing, facing the wind–crisp, rustling, autumn. Eyes shut, wide spread arms–He blows steady, strong and beautiful. And I am in His midst.
Use Your Jesus:
“You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart.” Jeremiah 29:13
How have you let relationships, situations, and busy schedules keep you comfortable and occupied from intentionally seeking His presence? In what ways can you slow yourself, step closer and truly experience Him today? Are there things in your life that you need to re-prioritize to allow opportunities to see Him? How does this make you “uncomfortable”?
Lord, help me to become uncomfortable in the absence of Your presence. Help me to see ways I can seek You each day. When I see the wind blowing, may I take a moment to stop, close my eyes and feel Your presence. When I feel scattered and stressed, may I take a moment to see You in the clouds, flowers, autumn leaves falling, and the smiles on my family’s faces. Remind me You care about the details of my life; You see me and desire time spent together. Thank you, Lord, for being faithful to me even when I forget to seek You during my day. Amen.