You can now listen to this blog post! Click below

A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. Proverbs 15:1 ESV

Unkind WordsOver the past week and a half, I have been studying through the Gospel accounts of the period of time leading up to the crucifixion and the beginning of the church.

My head has been full of thoughts to write, but my heart has remained heavy. So heavy, that I found I was not able to put into words what I have been feeling as I read.

I’m still in this place of heaviness but I feel like I need to try to share with you my heart. Even as I type I am not confident I will have words that are adequate.

I am also afraid that whatever I say will come across as if I am looking down on my precious readers from a high place of judgement.

I assure you I am not looking down, but rather I am looking beside me at beautiful souls, created and loved by God, yet they are hurting and in need of someone to just hear their heart. Someone who will just hear their words of brokenness.

I am not looking around at a group of lost souls in need of a Savior, rather I am looking at Christian women who have been hurt by the words other Christian women.

No, I am not looking down, because I, too, have not always used kind words – especially with my own family.

Yes, most of the hurt we cause is unintentional. And yes, some of it occurs out of anger.

But unkind words comes from a place of hurt done by another hurt soul.

And Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.” Luke 23:34 ESV

Sweet ladies, this is not God’s plan for us. He never sent His Son to die so we could tear each other down with our words.

Christ died to restore relationship. First our relationship with Him and then our relationships with each other.

All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation

2 Corinthians 5:18 ESV

Much like our mother’s heart aches when we see our children fighting, being unkind, using hurtful words; how much more does the Father’s heart break as His Son hangs on a cross, looking through time at us as we spew words of anger at each other.

Oh, dear sisters, we must get our hearts and our focus back to our Jesus.

We must not let the hurts done to us give us permission to pass the hurt on to another heart.

We need forgiveness for the unkind words we have spoken.

We must also freely give forgiveness for the hurt we have received at the unkindness of another.

Most importantly, the next time we are angry with someone, take a deep breath, focus on Jesus and speak kindly.

Remember the other person just needs someone to listen to their heart. Be the person to listen and point them to Jesus.

Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God. James 1:19-20 ESV

I want to challenge you this week. Spend time reading the last days of Jesus’ life. Really seek His presence to help you understand what He went through for us.

I believe if we can see Him through the heartbreak of the last days of His life, we will realize that the things we think are important lose their meaning in the shadow of the Cross.

Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips! Psalm 141:3 ESV

Share this:

Written by Stephanie K. Adams




I feel your heart sister and thank you for these grace words. Today I had the pleasure of hosting a tea for the ladies in my ministry and it warmed by heart to hear love and encouragement pouring from them to each other. I pray that when we open our mouths, our words are seasoned with grace. Happy to be visiting from the #raralinkup and this is my 1st time “meeting” you. So happy I stopped by and look forward to connecting again.

Stephanie K. Adams

Thank you for visiting, Tyra. I am so glad you had an encouraging time with the women of your church. It is so vital that we are purposeful to encourage and uplift. Welcome to my little corner of the internet.

Kim Stewart

Stephanie, what an absolute joy to hear your voice today! I really struggle with forgiveness especially with myself. Thanks for encouraging me today (and always)!

Kelly Balarie

I love how God pushes a theme through the linkup. The theme in many ways this week is forgiveness. Your words are powerful, freeing and life-changing. Thank you Stephanie for encouraging so many to forgive. It makes a difference. Cheering you on from the #RaRalinkup on Purposeful Faith.


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *